Like We Used To
by iWasDumbSorry
Summary: Love... Kendall has been falling in love with Logan and there's nothing can change it. Whatever, he will give anything for him even his soul, his life. Because he wanted his love to come back just like they used to. Kendall will keep his love until the death comes to take him away. WARNING: MPREG .. *Bad Summary BUT it will be surprise in mid-chap* 'Challenge Mpreg of Kendall'
1. Intermission

**Hey anyone..**

**Actually I don't want to write this but this is my Challenge so I must be in and do it so here..**

**So first I was getting worried here coz I don't know if you guys will like it or maybe hate it yeah I don't know. But I've tried my best for this one and I hope you would love it and don't bite me about my Grammar.. I'm learning and I'm not good at all so forgive me if there are a lot of mistakes in my story.**

**And it's about Kogan *I ship for them* heheheh..**

**Oh and I would like thank for my Beta, Hayley (: I love you so much.. **

**And once again I would like to thank for my best fanfiction friends Hayley and Manuel (: without them maybe I was nothing and worthless..**

**And if you don't mind so please read and review for their story too! "Too Much Pain For Me" and "Broken Beyond Repair"**

**And do not forget I also would like to thank for all my friends who did and participation with this Challenge I really appreciate it guys and I love you all (:**

**Ok, so here we go..**

**Disclaimer : I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine :D**

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**Author's POV **

**Chapter 1 : Intermission **

"Kendall...are you ok? You look pale and..." Logan realised there was no answer from Kendall, Logan asked him again a little louder."Kendall, are you alright?" shocked, Kendall jerked little bit from the sudden voice that came to his right. He ignored the dizziness that had been bothering him now for a couple of months. Kendall flinched when someone touched his shoulder, turning around and finding Logan standing in front of him with his anxious look on his face.

"I'm fine.. I-I'm just little bit tired, that's all." Kendall interrupted sharply, then sighed heavily.

Logan stared at Kendall carefully, he knew that kendall was hiding something from him because he had known Kendall for long time and in this case, Logan guessed it easily.

"You can tell me anything..." Logan sighed then he took a few steps closer to Kendall but when Kendall realised what Logan did, he immediately took a large step back.

Logan raised his eyebrows because of that. He got worried, holding his hands up in a sort of surrender.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, see?"

_Yeah I know you won't, Logan. And I can tell you anything and everything just like I did before, but for this one, I guess you will not understand. Or help me out of this shit! _

Kendall started to speak, running his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture "Look, I'm fine..ok? Like what I told you I-I'm just tired. Our rehearsal is so damn hard and I just..I mean with the little time we have off? Seriously? And I think you know that.." Kendall paused in his sentence, he hate being a liar, but this time he had to do it.

Logan looked at Kendall for a while before he let out a short breath of annoyance and gave up. He knew it was useless arguing with such a stubborn person like Kendall Donald Knight.

"I just want to remind you that there are no secrets between us. Camille and I had been dating for a couple of months now and I'm going out with Camille tonight. I'm just letting you know about this, m-maybe this is our second chance to start the relationship all over again. She asked me out and I'm giving it a try" Kendall looked at logan with a disappointed look crossing over his face, but soon he shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care

"I thought we had talked about this before. You can go with anyone and I guess you can't forget about her?" Kendall gave off a small, fake laugh to try to hide his feelings, but Logan's eyes widened. He could not believe what was Kendall had said.

"Yeah! You know what Kendall? You're right! I do still love her! I can't stop thinking about her, I want her and I need her more than anything in the world!" Logan cried, sweeping his hair with his fingers before taking his head in his hands.

Suddenly, Kendall felt more dizziness coming to him. He felt so weak and he thought he would collapse at anytime, therefore he sustained his body with help off the wall. He groaned softly as he supported his body against the wall. But he was grateful because Logan didn't notice it.

"I don't understand, Kendall...I-I don't even know you anymore. What's wrong with you!? What happen to you!? YOU'RE A SLUT!" Logan stopped, opening and closing his mouth like he didn't know what to say.

"I'm fucking tired and I'm getting sick of your behaviour!" Logan cried out suddenly in anger. He can't take it anymore. His heart was hurting so badly. His mind couldn't think clearly this time.

"Now it's up to you, Kendall. It's your choice.. Oh My God, YOU FUCK!" Logan raised his tone this time.

"M-Maybe Camille is the best for me and knows me better than you do! You're just my PAST AND NOTHING MORE..!"

Hearing that, Kendall immediately pushed himself away from the wall with his hands, forcing himself to stay strong as he walked toward the door.

"I don't think there's anything else we need to talk about anymore. You can go now..." Kendall said as he opened the door without looking back to where Logan was.

Logan sighed.

"I'm Just... just letting you know, Kendall." Logan said in weak voice. Logan stomped over to Kendall, pushing him hard at the shoulder and walking out, closing the door with a loud bang

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**Kendall's POV**

"Just...just letting you know, Kendall." Logan said in weak voice.

My heart ached, everything that I saw was doubling. I tried to stand up straight and pretend that there's nothing wrong with me but it's hard right now and I can't even focus my vision at the moment.

When I lifted my head, one thing that I knew was Logan had been right in front of me and pushed me hard, and then just left me without a word, closing the door with a loud bang

I jolted at the sound. I stood still against the door with tears staining my face. My heart was hurting, my body was trembling, it was just so wrong. Everything had been destroyed, my life was shattered and Logan hated me. I should blame myself for this. Logan's right, I'm a slut so why would Logan care about me? I don't deserve him.

I'm afraid. I was confused. The burden is so heavy for me, I can't bear it by myself. I wanted to tell Logan what had happened, but what if Logan would get mad at me? What if Logan won't take responsibility for it because the news would ruin his life?

The tears could no longer be detained in my eyes. The tears were slowly becoming sobs ripped from my throat.

My legs were getting weak, my body shaking hard as my body fell to the floor slowly.

_Logan, what should I do? With hating me, it will make you feel better? Even I don't know how I should tell you about what's happened to me. I'm pregnant and it's your baby, Logan._

My mind and my burden made me stress out to a point where my stomach started to cramp...again for the umpteenth time.

I hugged and squeezed my belly with grimace trying to calm it down, but I only cried out in pain. I slept with my body position slightly curved to the side.

The cold floor couldn't prevent my sweat to not come out. I began to try to regulate my breathing and calm my mind. But the pain was getting worse and all I could remember was darkness

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**So...**

**How do you think guys?**

**Feel free for Review (: **


	2. No Idea

**Hey.. **

**This is for Chapter 2.. **

**Oh and I would like thanks to every single of you for your reviews, alerts or favs this story :) **

**4ever with Kames : Aauuww thank you so much! and no I'm not Polish heheheh.. Why? **

**Chey21 : thank you so much and yeah here we go.. **

**JaylaHeart : well thank you heheh but it just because of my Best Friend who helping me :) **

**Oh and thank you so much for Hayley I love you so so much! **

**Disclaimer : I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine :D **

* * *

**Author's POV**

**Chapter 2 : No Idea **

"Dude, I've already told you it was a stupid plan! And it never worked.." James moaned in anger as he led Carlos towards their house.

"No! I know it would have worked if you didn't do that stupid thing! It was a brilliant idea and you ruined it, thanks.." with that Carlos gave James little poke in back of James's head.

"Oooow what was that for? Hey anyway it wasn't entirely my fault!" James shouted back.

"Yes it was!"

"NO!"

"YESS!"

"Absolutely NOT CARLOS!" as James said that they arrived in front of their house surprisingly fast, James then opened the door and walked in.

They found it was pretty quite here, they stopped with their arguing, being silenced immediately.

"Ok, but since when this house so quite like this? Where is everyone? Logan? Kendall? Mama Knight? Katie?" Carlos scanned all the corners of the house, trying to find anyone that might have been in the room.

"Stupid!" James muttered under his breath "Don't you remember what Mama Knight said to us this morning? She's gone with Katie until late tonight so clearly don't ask where Mama Knight and Katie are right now." James stopped for air for his lungs from talking in a full sentence without a single breath.

Carlos stood paralyzed for a while to get his mind to understand what James was talking about. He nodded slowly.

"And about Logan and Kendall... Well, I'm not sure where they are but I bet Kendall's napping. He loves his naps lately, right?" James raised his eyebrows towards Carlos who was still paralyzed.

James snapped his fingers in the air in front of Carlos' face, making Carlos jumped a little from fright. His large brown eyes began to clear, focusing.

"Are you still there, Carlitos?" James made his tone playful, making sure not to upset the smaller boy.

"Oh, well, yeah sure" Carlos lied smoothly "So how about Logan?"

"Well I don't know, Carlos. If I knew where he was, then…" James paused "I was going to talk to him" James sighed as he walked towards his bedroom.

"Wow, where are you going?" Carlos cut James's way to his bedroom, slapping his palms against the doors frames so that James couldn't get past him without pushing him.

"Take a nap" James explained with a shrug of his shoulders, but when he noticed the sceptical look on Carlos' face, he went back to his sentence "Of course I'll still be looking for Kendall and Logan! It's soo boring here and I wanna ask them to play video games with us.." Carlos kept silence, silently watching James talk mostly to himself because Carlos was lost inside his own thoughts.

"Huh, you're coming in or not?" Carlos nodded furiously, pretending that he was in fact listening to James. He followed James as he walked toward Kendall and Logan's room.

When they reached the door Carlos grabbed the knob of the door and twisted it open.

But before Carlos able to open the door fully, there was something propped against the door so it can only be opened half way.

Carlos stopped what he was doing, turning around to look at James, who was standing next to him. They shared the same curious expression at the thing that was preventing them from opening the door fully.

"The hell?" James squeezed in to the room slowly positioning himself side ways to slip through the small crack of the door, followed closely by Carlos. But before they could go any further they were surprised by a body who was lying on the floor.

Carlos and James stood still, paralyzed and gasped.

"J-James.. W-who's?.." Carlos started to speak, but his tongue got tied in his mouth.

"I-I don't know..." with that James covered his mouth with his right hand in horror.

"G-Go check it.." Carlos said in horror too.

"NO! Why me? You check it.." James stared at Carlos with a disgusted face.

"No you check it.. It's your job!"

"Oh well no it isn't. It's Logan job! He want to be a Doctor so it's his job and his responsibility not mine!" James screamed at Carlos.

"Yeah so? Mine neither!"

"Yeah agreed.." James nodded while looked at the body still lying on the floor.

"So.." Two of them still looked at the body with nothing to do but tremble in horror.

"Luckily, Logan wasn't here.."

"And that means?.." Carlos said as he turned his face towards James.

When James realised what Carlos did he let out of sigh then closed his eyes, pinching his nose in anger.

"Ok, ok. Wait.." with that James took out his bandana from his pocket and tied it across his forehead, tightening it extra hard at the back

Carlos kept blinking just to make sure he was fully awake to what James was doing. His eyes widened.

"James! it doesn't help anything..!"

"Yes It does!" James whined, sounding like a small child "Just…Just let Bandana Man do it.."

Before Carlos was able to spill something out against it, James took steps closer to the body on the floor slowly. James reached out towards the body, but then jerked his hand back away from the body as if it was burnt.

"K-Kendall?" James eyes widened as knew it was Kendall lying on the floor, restricting the door to open fully

Carlos knelt down at Kendall's side, looking over his body before placing his hand against Kendall's forehead.

"James, I think he got fever just let's take him to his bed. "

James grabbed Kendall's body underneath the boys armpits, Carlos helped, grabbing Kendall's legs so they wouldn't drag along the floor. They both lay Kendall on his bed carefully.

"Oh My God, what happen to him?" Carlos started panicking, his heart jack-hammering in his chest as he put his hands on his head with the panic, trying to grip onto the black helmet that was secured to his head.

"I don't know Carlos, please tell me what we should do now?" James freaked out, keeping his voice low so that he didn't panic Kendall.

Carlos paced back and forth across the room, his hands still on his head.

"Carlos can you stop doing that! We need to do something else other than that!" once again James freaked out. He didn't know what should he do because his thoughts were so screwed and blank right now. He couldn't think straight.

"Call Logan!" Carlos suddenly screamed from across the room, throwing up his hands with his brilliant thought. His face became happy "Yes CALL HIM RIGHT NOW!"

James nodded, grabbing his phone from his pocket and immediately dealing Logan's number. But before Logan picked up the phone, some small groans came from Kendall's direction. They both realised Kendall seemed to be waking up, Carlos approached Kendall while James kept his focus on his phone.

"K-Kendall are you okay?" Carlos asked softly towards their youngest friend.

It was took a few seconds before Kendall became fully conscious to answer it.

"Y-Yes.. I'm fine" his throat was burning like hell and so was his head. The dizziness was still making his vision blur, it kept coming out and out of focus for a few minutes and went away. But he didn't think about it when he heard Logan's name being mentioned.

"Logan where are you? We need you now an..."

"James hang up the phone now!" Kendall yelled, giving James a serious look.

James froze for a while, his phone in a weak grasp in his hand. The next thing James knew, Kendall grabbed James' phone from his hands, easily taking the phone, and turned it off.

James and Carlos shared a confused look with each other, before looking back at Kendall.

"What happen to me?" Kendall rubbed his head.

"W-We walked in and Carlos opened the door that's when we-we found you lying on the floor. So, we brought you to the bed and we wondered what we had to do so we finally decided to call Logan and a few minutes later you woke up, screamed at me to hang up the phone and you asked me what had happened to you . That's all that we know.. A-Anything else?" James asked carefully.

"Oh you forgotten one thing James" Carlos spoke before James could interrupt "so we found you lying on the floor, then we argued for a while and finally James gave up then wore his stupid bandana that doesn't help AT ALL! Finally we brought you to the bed and we wondered what we had to do we finally decided to call Logan and a few minutes later you woke up, screamed at James to hang up his phone and the last thing you asked us what had happened to you! Ok, another questions?" Carlos gasped for air, doubling over to make it easier for the oxygen he needed to fill his lungs.

"Dude you look pale, what happen to you?"

"And why were you sleeping on the floor? Don't you like with your bed anymore?" Carlos raised his eyebrows

"Carlos stop it! Give Kendall space.."

"Whoa what?! What are you saying? Say it again! Like you gave him some space too..!" Carlos said while patting his helmet twice

"Stupid Helmet!"

"Oh really?! Goofy Bandana Man?" Carlos mocking James, which made James opened his 'sexy mouth' for an attack to Carlos's argument. But before he could let out his words it was cut by Kendall's groans.

"Aaarrgghhtt..." Kendall squeezed his stomach in a tight grip, rolling over to his right side.

Kendall let out little bit of scream, Carlos and James could heard Kendall gasping for air, and it worried them both.

"P-P-Please call Doctor" Kendall paused in his sentence, giving off another small scream of pain "Find the number in my phone, God aarrgghhtt.." with that Carlos took Kendall's phone out of his pocket and immediately phoned the Doctor, after what seemed like an eternity Carlos was finally talking with the Doctor. Carlos started to explain to the doctor about Kendall's situation.

"Yes please make it quick!" Carlos hung up the phone quickly, stuffing Kendall's phone into his pocket before lunging towards Kendall.

"Buddy it's ok, he will be here soon.." Carlos tried to sooth Kendall.

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**Kendall's POV**

I just rolled my body to my right side. My stomach started to become sick and it was worst than before. I don't know why but I need to calm myself down. I don't want to hurt my baby this way. I know it was my fault but I can't help when I heard 'Logan's name it just freaking me out, my anger was just coming out and my heart was racing so fast.

My hands was shaking so hard and I can't hold my tears back anymore, they just fell out of my eyes. I tried to inhale and control my breathing as best as I could to stop myself from stressing. I don't want lose this baby.

"Yes please make it quick!" I heard Carlos screamed then he touched my back softly.

"Buddy it's ok he will be here soon.."

I nodded tried to rolling my body on the spot where Carlos and James were but it was a bad choice on my part. The pain became much more painful.

"Kendall! Kendall stay with us!"

"Buddy stay with us, come on! Kendall..." the voices started fading away from me, thank God that I can't feel that horrible pain anymore but wait…I can't feel everything now. Everything just faded away.

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**Heheheh so... I hope you like it.. And feel free for review, alert or fav :) **

**Love you guys.. **


	3. Help

**Hayley I Love You..again LOL**

**Disclaimer : I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine.**

* * *

**Author's POV**

**Chapter 3 : Help**

"Did he already tell you what had happened to him?" the Doctor asked Carlos and James as he finished checking up on Kendall.

Both Carlos and James looked at each other and shook their heads as a sign of "No" for the Doctor.

"What happened to him?" James asked.

"Have you already met him before?" Carlos interrupted.

"CARLOS!" James shouted

"What?"

"Don't even start, Carlos. It's an emergency!" James sighed as he pointed his finger towards Kendall's body lying on the bed

"Whoa, I was just asking for once" Carlos defended himself, scowling like a child, even crossing his arms across his chest "I won't ask anymore questions, anyway." but before it would be a long debate the Doctor cut in

"Ok, I think we have to focus on Kendall now gentlemen."

Carlos and James stopped, without another word, there was no yelling, they just stood still.

"Ok, first of all I can't tell you what had happened to him because he said 'don't'. But because I know about his condition I would say don't make him stress out. If it happens again then he's in serious trouble. His body is very weak and I'm afraid that his body just wouldn't be able to take that."  
James and Carlos remained quiet, their jaws dropped but they didn't even realise how much trouble Kendall had been in, it was an expression for "Understanding' or 'Not at all'.

"So, let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Daniel and yes I met him before." Dr. Daniel took a few seconds to scan James and Carlos' faces

"Any questions?"

"I-I don't know...we still don't understand what's going on here." Carlos said a little hesitantly, flashing a nervous smile towards the doctor

"Wait what do you mean with his body couldn't take that? Take what?"

Before they could continue their conversation, they heard a small moan coming from Kendall's spot on the bed. They turned their eyes on Kendall and found Kendall opened his eyes slowly and moving his hand to rest it on his belly.

They were waiting for him, but Carlos started to rub Kendall's shoulders in a soothing motion, waiting until it was the time to speak.

"Kendall tell us what happened?"

Still, Kendall remained silent. The three of them just shared a look with their eyes, waiting for some sort of word to come out of anyone's mouth, the silence was tense.

"Look Kendall, we had been friends for long time and we're like family. So if one of us have a problem or something we must help each other right. Don't you trust us?" James sighed as he kept staring at Kendall, willing the answer from him.

"Yeah, James's right buddy. But, if you're not ready to tell us, it's ok. You can tell us when ever you're ready.." Carlos gave Kendall a small smile.

They know that maybe Kendall isn't ready to tell them what had happened to him, they have never seen Kendall like this before. It-It was just so difficult to watch the youngest their best friend to be in this situation.

"I-I..." Kendall tried to spit out his words, but it was so hard for him! He didn't even know what he would say. He didn't know where to start. He was just afraid. He was afraid that his ' Best Friends' would be mad at him too because of this. Maybe they would think that Kendall is freak or even hate this baby. No, he won't let it happen!

But another part of himself told him that he couldn't do it alone, he had to tell someone.

"Calm down, take a deep breath and try to relax.." Dr. Daniel checked Kendall's chart that hung at the foot of the bed, flipping it open and continuing to check Kendall's abdomen with a stethoscope. He nodded, touching Kendall's thigh and rubbing it softly.

"So far you're ok but remember Kendall don't make it difficult. You choose it.." Dr. Daniel can see some irrational fear in Kendall's eyes as he nodded slowly, still keeping his eyes on the doctor.

"I-Is I-it alright? N-Nothing b-bad happen w-with..." Kendall cut his statement off, biting his tongue and instead compared what he was about to say by touching his belly.

"Yeah, yeah it's ok.. So I've go to go, just call me if you're feel something bad happen." Dr. Daniel gave Kendall and the boys small smile then went away.

Kendall tried to sit up on the bed but failed, gasping in pain. Someone grasped his hand, and for some reason, Kendall knew it had been Carlos, trying to help him with the pain.

"Kendall calm yourself down, remember what the doctor said" Carlos' eyebrows soon knitted together in confusion "even I still don't understand why, but you need to calm yourself down."

"And it's ok, Buddy. You can cry, don't hold it in. You shouldn't be strong for us. You're our youngest brother and we need our little brother right now.." Carlos can't stand seeing it anymore. Watching Kendall suffering so badly and having no power to help him along with the pain. Carlos tried not to crack right in front of Kendall, but it was a hard thing not to do. His heart hurt just watching the scene unfold, he just wanted to help Kendall, even going as far as to hug him so tightly to hug out all the pain, and say that everything is going to be ok, but he knew that everything wasn't ok. Kendall was about to cry, and that's mean he was really broken.

Carlos could see how Kendall trying to hide his tears as they threatened to come out, he was trying to be strong for them. Carlos could see that Kendall was trembling.

No, Carlos can't stand to see it anymore.

Before Carlos could understand what was going on, he was running out of the room, leaving Kendall and James alone. He shoved his whole body against the door, forcing it to swing violently into the wall before he closed it shut violently, slamming the door back against the frame. He stopped in front of Kendall and Logan's room. He let out his tears finally leak out. He covered his face with his hands.

Carlos turned around so his back was against the wall, and he began to sob into his hands, the tears leaking from in-between his fingers. He heard someone opened the door and closed it behind them.

"C-Carlos..." James touched Carlos's shoulder softly to let him know that they were there, then they began to rub his back in soothing circles to calm Carlos down, he knew Carlos was crying.

"J-James...I-I can't stand to see him like this. It isn't Kendall. I just want him back, I want to see him smile, I want to hear his laugh and I want the old Kendall back.." Carlos whispered to James as he sobbed harder, his throat beginning to sting because it was tensing up.

Immediately James brought Carlos closer to his body for a hug, he could felt Carlos pushing his head into James's chest, nuzzling his face into his shirt, trying to smother the sobbing.

"Why doesn't he believe us anymore, James? Why? WHY? Why he is being so stubborn! We already know that he wasn't ok!"

James moved his hands to grasp at Carlos' chin, raising Carlos' head to make sure he was face to face with his best friend.

"Shhh, hey listen to me Carlos.. First of all of course he's still believes in us. He-He just needs some space right now but trust me he'll tell us after he's ready to. And yeah of course he's stubborn, I can't deny it but what could we do? You want the old Kendall is back, don't you? At least you can find it in his stubborn. And I know he wasn't ok Carlos, I can see it too.. A-And I feel bad about that, but just like what I told you, he probably needs some space this time.. And remember we can get through this together! We have to stick together like we used before." James couldn't help it, he was crying too. He knew that he must be strong for his friends just like Kendall did but it was so hard. He can't bare to see two of his best friends so broken like this.

Carlos, after sobbing into James' shirt which seemed to be like an eternity, calmed down by now, nodding against James' chest.

"Are you ok now?"

"Y-yeah thank you James.. You've opened up my mind and I now know we must stick together.." Carlos gave James a small smile of gratitude

"Good.. So, can we get back to Kendall? To make sure that he's ok, I don't want to leave him alone for a long time, especially in his condition."

Carlos nodded following James, walking in to the bedroom where they found Kendall asleep curled up on the bed.

They were took a place near Kendall, sitting down on the bed. James on the left side, his legs up on the bed fully stretched out. Carlos on the right, curled up against Kendall's body, his fingers raking through the golden locks. After a few minutes they were falling asleep too.

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**James's POV**

I opened my eyes slowly, rubbing my eyes, scanning all of the room wondering where am I now. I was just realised that I was in Kendall and Logan's room. The last thing that I remembered was.. Wait. Where's Kendall? I can't find Kendall on his bed. Immediately I looked at my watch and I was just little bit shocked knew that It's 3:17AM.

Where's Kendall? I shuffled off the bed, trying not to disturb Carlos still fast asleep on the bed, curled up where Kendall should have been. Before I knew it, my brain suddenly had a thought, one that seemed to freeze him on the spot. Where's Logan? Did he come back yet? I shook my head to focus on Kendall, wracking his brain to try to figure out where he would be. I'm afraid that something bad had happen to Kendall.

I took a few steps into the kitchen, it was then that I heard a heavy noises and coughs from..the bathroom. I walked slowly towards the bathroom, creeping across the small space of the room. The door wasn't close and that voice was increasingly clear the closer I got. I walked inside the bathroom, pushing the door wider, but what I saw when the door fully opened was Kendall kneeling on the floor with his left hand squeezing his stomach and his right hand outstretched towards the sink to sustaining his trembling body.

Shocked to the core, I rushed closer to him and rubbed his back slowly in soothing circles, crashing to my knees. No words came out, it was just Kendall vomiting violently into the bowl of the toilet, little groans coming from him. I felt so bad for him because he looked so pale, he had large black bags under his eyes and he was sweating heavily, a sheen of sweat visible on his forehead, his hair was messed up, sticking up in every direction possible. And his body was trembling violently, him throwing up was not helping in the slightest, it looked like he was trembling...in weakness.

"Hey Buddy it's ok, let it out and it will be fine.." I tried to make him calm little bit even I knew that it wasn't good.

There was no answer from Kendall, but I could heard his heavy breathing rasping out, and I could see that if he was trying to hold back the vomit, willing the urge back because his eyes were squeezed shut.

After a few minutes, finally Kendall moved his right hand to his forehead, bowing his head down to the rim of the toilet seat.

I jerked back suddenly when the next thing I knew, Kendall's body collapsed to the floor, his body sagging. But, thanks to God that I can caught him as fast as I can.

"KENDALL!" I placed his head on my thigh.

He closed his eyes tightly, his mouth open as he screamed in silent, no sounds coming from his open mouth, his hands placed on his stomach. I didn't know what I should do, I was so confused and I noticed that my hands were shaking, but I tried to calm myself down enough to focus on Kendall. He needed me.

"K-Kendall hey what hurts? T-Try to take a deep breath, inhale and exhale.." I encouraged him, taking deep breaths, exhaling and inhaling hard enough so Kendall could hear me, and slowly he started to follow me. I thanked Neptune he was a little more calmer than before.

I decided to take him to his bed, but before I could pick Kendall up from the floor, Kendall whispering something to me that made my blood run cold at how much emotion was in his voice, "Please don't move, James. H-Hurts.."

It was enough. It hurt me to hear those words spill from Kendall mouth, because Kendall never ever spoke those words like that unless he was feeling in so much pain that he had to tell someone. And still, I didn't know what had happened to him, this just made me more and more curious about what had happened.

The only thing that I could do was rub his back slowly to make him relax and I hope it was working.

After I made sure that he was ok, or at least better than before, I opened my mouth "Kendall are you feeling alright now?" I said softly.

Kendall opened his eyes, looking into my eyes before nodding, "Y-Yeah James thanks and I'm so sorry.." his voice cracked near the end of his sentence.

"Kendall what are you talking about? You didn't do something wrong then why would you have to apologize?" but before Kendall able to answer it, I raised his body from the floor, taking his right hand to encircle it around my neck so as we got our feet, it made things a lot easier to stand up. As soon as Kendall was stable on his feet, with help from me because he had most of his body weight rested against my side, I took him carefully back to his bed.

"You need to sleep Kendall" I said as I looked up seeing Carlitos sleeping still on the sofa, I only shrugged my shoulders.

I turned back to Kendall to give him a smile, slowly walking towards my bedroom to let him sleep.

"James.."

I looked around to locate the voice, and found out that it had been Kendall's voice. I walked closer, back to where he was resting on the bed.

"Yeah Buddy, what's wrong?"

"I-I'm really sorry.." his tears just coming out from his eyes.

"Shh.. hey what? I already said don't be sorry." I sat closer to him on the bed, taking his hand to make him more comfortable.

"No James. I-I'm hiding something from you guys.." I looked at him, letting him continue his statement, staying quiet to let Kendall speak.

"Remember what the Doctor said before? T-To n-not s-stress myself out b-because" Kendall paused, and I found myself leaning closer to Kendall, waiting for what he was about to say "I-I'm, pregnant. I'm pregnant, James.." his tears came flooding out like a damn had broken, and he began to sob, his bottom lip quivering. I froze on the bed, letting the news settle in my whole body. I-It couldn't be happening..I mean it was Kendall. And who? Who's the father?

"James please don't hate me! I know that I'm freak please please.." his sobbing became harder now, his whole body trembling as he repeated the words 'please' over and over again like a mantra, like a life line.

"Who?" I started to speak through the large lump in my throat "Who's the father, Kendall?"

It just made Kendall sob louder and worst of all it had woken up Carlos.

"Kendall? James? What's going on?" Carlos slowly stood up from his spot and walked towards Kendall and James.

"Kendall, just tell me who the father is?!" I just ignored Carlos question, never glancing in his direction, I couldn't help it, but I needed to know who is the father and why Kendall was so sad about this. Was he raped?

_I will kill that guy._ I promised myself in my mind.

"W-who's the father? James, could you please tell me what's going on here? What's wrong with Kendall? Why are you crying?" Carlos was in shock, his mouth spilling tons of questions.

"I-It's Logan.."

* * *

**So..? I hope you guys liked it so far.**

**Review? It would be cute and sweet :)**


	4. Untouchable

**Wow it's been long time.. I missed you guys so much :) **

**Oh and like the usual I wanna thank you so much for everyone who gave me your rocky reviews, alerts even favs for this story I really appreciated it! and once again I'd like to give a big thank for my sister Hayley *LOVE* you have no idea how much I love you.. **

**You guys are the best! *hugs* **

**Doomedphsyx2030** : **Aahh thank you so much! Thank you for everything and LOVE YA! Everyone JUST READ ****Doomedphsyx2030's stories because she is amazing writer! **

**Chey21 : Ah thank you and I hope you'll love this one too :) **

**The-REAL -leaders-of-Akatsuki : thank you so much :) and sorry for took so long but here we go the new Chap :D **

**Ignacia Kitty Dolohov-Potter : Lol yeah I think it's a good idea to kill Logan but hey without him this story probably can't be more interest, isn't? hahahah and yeah Logan was the first person who took Kendall' virginity so yeah I want my bad Logie here LOL.. **

**So ladies and gentlemen here we goo.. **

* * *

**James's POV **

**Chapter 4 : Untouchable **

I-it's Logan.."

"WHAT?"

"Logan? What happened with him? GUYS, COULD YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!" Carlos screamed in a furious tone, gritting his teeth, he was still ignored somehow.

"So Logan is the rapist?" My eyes widened but after I said that Kendall just stared at me.

"NO James, No of course not! He didn't rape me, we love each other a-and I love him so much!" Kendall yelled at me, hurt easily detected in his tone.

"So why are you so sad then? You must be happy. . ." I was really curious to understand why Kendall was always upset. Didn't Logan love Kendall back?

"Because he doesn't love me ANY MORE! That's the matter!"

"But you just said that you and him are love each other, please Kendall, don't make me sound so goofy."

"YES! It was only for a few months. NOT for now!"

"You didn't tell him about this, did you?" I asked, watching the whole time as Kendall's face when bone white with the question.

Kendall shook his head, telling me 'No'.

"LET. ME. SAY. IT. FOR. THE. LAST. TIME. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE! HEY I'M NOT A STATUE, NOR AM I THE WALL EITHER!" Kendall and I jerked to look at him because of that. Carlos looks like a tiger who want to catch his prey.

"I'm Pregnant, Carlos! I'm Pregnant!" with that Carlos just stood and froze on the spot.

"And yes I didn't tell him. He won't listen to me because he has Camille now."

"Kendall, this is the first time I'm going say you're being stupid! How could you dare to think of anything like that? T-that is Logan's baby too.." I just pointed Kendall's belly. "That means it is his responsibility too."

"I just don't want to ruin his life, James." Kendall said in a weak voice, once again thinking of others before himself.

"But don't you ever think about you and the baby too?" this time it had been Carlos who spoken, raising his voice in just the right pitch to be heard and noticed.

"I-I don't know.. Just give me a little time I-I promise I will tell him. I'm just tired."

I sighed in defeat.

"Ok but you really need to sleep. Just don't start freaking yourself out, it's not good for you or the baby."

Kendall nodded before closing his eyes. When I knew Kendall's eyes were closed, I looked at Carlos who was standing next to me.

"Is he going be ok?" I could heard the worry in his voice, it scared me to hear that.

"I don't know, Carlos" I answered truthfully, because I couldn't stand another person lying "But I really hope so. Half of myself says that it was good news and I'm so happy that I could be uncle! but the other half of myself say that it's wrong. I want to tell Logan about this, but this isn't any of my business. I'm just afraid that Kendall will do something you know. Something unexpected."

Carlos dropped his head, looking down at the ground kicking an imaginary stone, I didn't know what was going on in his mind

"You need some sleep too, Carlos. I'm sorry I woke you up.." yeah I felt so bad to drag Carlos into this.

* * *

**Kendall's POV**

I hated her smile, no it was more like a smirk. I wanted to poke her or at least hit her in the nose, but I knew that I couldn't do it in front of Logan.

"So?"

I raised my eyebrow still staring at Logan and Camille, forgetting they were still standing there together.

"Could you share a room with her?" the same question had been asked plenty of times, but there was no room for a 'No' in Logan's tone "But it's ok, she can sleep in my bed with me so you don't have to share your bed too." Logan said flatly.

"Yeah, Kendall you don't have to. I'd would love to sleep with my lovely Logie" again it was ridiculous and her smirk was just making me want to throw up.

I just nodded and walked away, leaving them standing on the spot. I don't feel the need to fight this morning, this sickness is enough for me.

"Wait, Kendall.. So?" Logan was standing in front of me cut my way.

"Up to you, Logan. I want to go to collage.." I said in a weak voice. Trust me I don't feel good this morning I just want to go out.

**A few minutes ago**

"Logan what is she doing here? And where's Kendall?" Carlos looked into Kendall and Logan's room but he couldn't find Kendall in there, instead it was Camille.

"She is staying here with us. And Kendall just went to collage." Logan said with a shrug of his shoulders, not really bothered.

"WHAT? She's staying here with us?! In Kendall and your room? How about Kendall? You're nuts Logan.." James stood in front of Logan shaking his head with a look of disgust on his face.

"Kendall said it was ok" Logan defended himself with a stern voice "so that means its ok.." Camille showed up to joined with them.

"Logan, did he already tell you something?" Carlos said in low voice.

"Tell me what?"

"A-about. . .that hi.."

"Nothing, forget about that" James almost shouted the words to block off what Carlos was going to say "Come on Carlos we must go to collage too." James took a hold of his wrist, dragging Carlos to the front door to snatch their bag from the floor and go.

"Hey we can go to the collage together, guys!" Camille screamed in a shrill voice, following Carlos and James with Logan at her heels like a lost puppy.

* * *

"I bet that Kendall had not told Logan, yet." James sighed but said in whispered.

"Yeah.. And actually if I could be honest, I hate her." Carlos added, crossing his arms and looking like a small child.

James nodded, rushing to their class because the bell rang.

Goodness, they found me sitting in the middle of room, I smiled to them.

James took his bag off his back, placing it behind my chair. James chose to stand next to me and Carlos chose sit to the left of me.

"Kendall, did you know about Camille?" James whispered to me, making sure that there was not much room between us incase someone heard our conversation. I didn't want to bother the others, but James was persistent in wanting to know the information.

I just nodded and smiled. Ok the smile was fake and twisted, not my usual, but James and Carlos seemed to understand why I couldn't smile

"Why are you here, Kendall? You should be resting at home.." Carlos interrupted them.

But before I could answer Carlos's question, Logan and Camille just came into the class.

_Ok Camille just became a jerk. Stop holding in Logan's hand, bitch! _

After like an age finally the bell was rang we all went out from our class and I walked alone through the hall.

I walking towards the lockers with people passing around me. The noises and a horrid smell of the perfume from the ladies made me dizzy and my head was spinning. I was desperately trying to ignore it, shaking my head little but nope. My stomach started to gurgle in protest.

I hit the locker in my left side, almost collapsing to the floor but someone caught me just in time, slowly sliding my body down my locker and gently sitting me on the floor.

I tried to hold in my vomit, swallowing hard and constantly, willing it not to come out. I don't want to throw up here, and letting people think I was weird was not acceptable.

So I just kept inhaling and exhaling while squeezing my belly and, still, I don't know who that guy was who caught me. I can feel someone rubbing my back softly, and if I could be honest it was making me feel comfortable.

"Hey, Kendall are you ok?" the guy whispered in my ear.

I turned around to find it was Dak that rubbing my back. I jerked away from him, immediately taking a step backwards to put some space between us.

It's Dak Zevon.

The most sadistic, creepiest and nastiest guy in this college. What the hell he was doing?

"I-I should go.." I rushed to leave him behind, that was before he grabbed my hand, halting my movements

"Why are you in such a rush, Kendall? I know you're not ok, and you can stay here with me for while, at least until you feel better.." he played his tone, going from sincere to playful, flashing me a big smile that was creeping me out.

"No, I'm good now. Thanks.."

"Why are you being so shy, Kendall? I know you're lonely.. I can fill you, Kendall."

Ok he needs to stop now before I start throwing up from how creepy he was being.

"Let me go, Dak!" I screamed as I slapped his hand in the air and twisted to run away.

"Don't you worry babe, I know as soon as I started to talk like that, you'd like it.." Dak said to himself with a smirk crossing his face.

* * *

"You should tell Mama Knight as soon as you can, Kendall. You can't keep them in the dark forever." James shouted out to me but I didn't concentrate on his words.

"And Logan too." Carlos came into the conversation.

I ignored them. I'm not in the mood to be talked to like a little child, I just wanted to take a rest and lie in my comfortable bed, to forget everything only for a moment.

"Kendall! We are talking to you!" James came over to me, his hazel eyes blazing with anger.

"Yes I will!" I spoke through gritted teeth, getting irritated at everyone "but right now isn't good time.." I said with a sigh, the anger I felt previously evaporating from my system.

"So when? You can't wait until your belly is showing up, can you?"

I heard the door open, Logan and Camille waltzing into the room as if they owned the place.

"Showing what?" Camille asked still holding Logan's hand, their fingers laced together.

"Nothing." I spat quickly.

OK it's start.

I can hear Carlos and James sigh as Camille and Logan came closer to them

"No, No you said showing up? About what?" OK I wanted to kick her or at least punch her in the cheek! Why she is being so curious about this! This isn't anything to do with her.

"You should clear your ears then because we didn't say that!." James said mocking her tone. I could tell that James was annoyed just by the tone.

"Whoa do you have any problems with that James? Yo-"

"Stop it!" Logan interrupted them, turning to stare at Camille.

"Camille don't be so curious about knowing their stuff. It's not important to us, I'm sure if it was, they would tell me"

_You both are jerks and I wanted to punch both of you now! I don't even care if you two would be bleeding or even dead!_

I was about to get out of my bed as anger controlled my body's movement. but Carlos held me back, keeping me pinned to his chest.

"Kendall there's no point! just let them go,"

Again, I was about to open my mouth but Logan was screaming at Carlos who jerked me little.

"WHAT? What the hell are you talking about Carlos?"

"What? Is there any problem with that?"

"YES OF COURSE THERE IS!" Camille screamed at Carlos.

"Whoa now you're coming into our conversation? I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU CAMILLE!" Carlos shouted angrily.

"And to be honest I didn't even agree with you moving here.." James added.

"Oh Logie look at how they are talking to me? What's my fault, I didn't even do anything to them.." Camille pretended to lower her voice so that Logan will immediately be on her side. And I was right. With a furious look twisted on his face, Logan turned to glare at everyone, especially James and Carlos.

"What the hell is with you three? Like she said, she didn't do anything to you so why are you getting mad at her and acting like jerks?" Logan pointed his stare at me.

"Logan! The question is what the hell are you now? You decide to let her stays here without our consent even Mama Knight and Katie! Why are you being so selfish?"

"And you Camille! We want you to get out of here! I swear to God that I HATE YOU deep inside of my heart!" Carlos's face was so red that he looked like a very ripe tomato at its peak, I had never seen Carlos so anger, never like this.

"Ok if it makes you guys happy then I WILL!" with that Camille started to cry and packing her clothes, shoving them into her suitcase.

_Bullshit I know she's lying._

"Camille. dont," I can see Logan's hands shaking with angry, before anyone could move the suitcase was slammed on the floor by Logan, who was looking furious.

"NO ONE CAN KICK HER OUT!" Logan grabbed Camille's hand then walked closer towards us.

"If she go then so do I.." He looked at us deep in our eyes and I knew he meant what he was saying.

I'm so tired of everything going wrong, I don't want this drama anymore.

"She's staying.."

"WHAT?!" James and Carlos stared at me with their widened eyes, their mouths dropping to the floor with the shock of my words.

"That's what I'm talking about" Logan spoke in a cocky tone "you're smarter that you look." Logan gave me a glare then left us with Camille, retreating back to their bed.

Carlos and James were still looking at me like I had grown another head, but I just shrugged, looking like I wasn't bothered about the whole thing. They left me standing in the middle of the living room, looking like an idiot. I knew that they were mad at me.

It's complete now.

* * *

**So how do you think guys? I hope you'd like it and give me your awesome review! **

**and thank yyoouuu *LOVE* **


	5. Stuck

**New Chap yyeeyy! I can't wait to type the next chapter which it's gonna be different from the first *LOL I really hope so* because I have a plan with this story so I hope you guys liked it and give me your Love and support with your review :) because it means a lot for me.. **

**Oh and thank you so much for alerts, favs even reviews! I love you guys so much! **

**Ignacia Kitty Dolohov-Potter and ****Doomedphsyx2030 thank you so much for the last review you guys are rock! **  


******Hayley ILYSSM :D **

**And here we go! **

******Disclaimer : Again... I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine :D**

* * *

**Kendall' POV**

**Chapter 5 : Stuck **

It's been 5 days since Camille came here and slept with Logan in front of me. First I thought it was fine because I knew that me and Logan are **'Over'**. But I can't see it. They are so damn horrible to me, teasing me because I know that Camille was trying to anger me with her behaviour, and if I was honest with myself, it was working like a charm. They were always sharing their kiss with each other even though that I was there in the room with them. And they talked so loud, completely ignoring me. At midnight I was so uncomfortable! Aarrggg, the dizziness was making my head spin, one hand on my forehead to massage my temple, the other hand on my belly even though it wasn't helping. I was throwing up about 12 times or more in the bathroom today, some of the times barely making it. When I tried to compose myself, standing still as I could to try not to encourage any more sickness, my hips resting on the sink, that's the first time then I heard a moan. After I thought it was enough for me to just walk in, I slowly moved my body to check up on where the voices were coming from. I was so shocked when I found out who it was. I was about to collapse to the floor, my legs turning to jelly faster than I realised. I couldn't stand on my feet for much longer, willing my body to slowly rest against the wall, tears coming faster down my face. I can not believe what I saw, why was he doing this to me? He can do it with her or anyone else, but please don't do it when I'm here.

My heart hurts. The pain wasn't help at all and it was getting worst. I tried to open my mouth to scream as loud as I could, but it was weak.

"L-logan s-stop..." I was in so much pain, physical and emotionally, crippling me where I stood trying not to listen to those stupid moans coming from Camille's mouth.

But like I expected, he wasn't able to hear it over Camille's loud moans.

"Aagghhtt L-loggaann yyoouurr ssoo ggoood aahh kkeepp ffaasstteerr LLOOGGAANNN..."

I found their clothes everywhere in the room and the bed was messed up. I can hear Logan's heavy breathing as he drove into Camille faster, so vigorously and they were both screaming in pleasure. Camille grabbed Logan's hair, pulling Logan closer to her then kissing him as he rode her. I can hear the bed started to creak, a 'crik' sound while Logan pounded into faster Camille.

"Lllooggaann rriiddee mmeee lliikkee aahh GGOODD! YYYEEAAHH LLIIKKEE TTHHAATT LLOOGGAANN!"

It's been 5 minutes when I realised I had slid down the wall to the floor, crying while my knees curled into my body. It's so clear, _how could Logan do it to me?_

Those private moments that Camille had with Logan never went from my head, how much pleasure Camille had with Logan, how they both doing it loudly enough to wake the dead! It was already a recording in my head, and it makes it worst, because it keeps playing inside my mind like a broken record, cutting into my heart a little more each time its played. I feel my chest tighten, my eyes burning with unshed tears, my heart hurts, my body is trembling, my dizziness hits my head and of course my stomach is not helping at all.

I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep, I'm so tired, everything just wasn't right.

**Logan's POV**

That night was so good. This was the first time Camille and I did it! And I had to admitted that Camille was so good at the bed, she's amazing, even I never expected that tonight we'll doing this. I was so pleased since it had been a long time I and Ke- wait!

I shook my head as that name almost filled my thoughts.

I felt so tired, I moved my head to Camille who already sleeping against my chest. I decided to follow her lead and started to close my eyes.

"I Love You Camille" I whispered.

**In the Morning**

**7:12 AM**

"Just get out of here before he wake up because you will screw it up!"

That voice was hitting my head and made me wake up. I forced my eyes to open to take a look what was going on and what was that. I didn't remember what happened, my mind was still blank. I got up slowly into a sitting position, my eyes narrowed while scanning my bed and ok Kendall's bed but I don't know it was the empty bed but I don't really care.

I searched around to see where the voice were coming from but I found nothing. I climbed out of bed, putting my feet on the floor but when I realised that I was naked and at the time I just remembered what was happened. A smile crossed on my lips. I grabbed my clothes and my pants, pulling them on.

After I've done with it I walked into the living room to find Camille standing in front of the door.

"Hey babe," I wrapped my arms around her hips, but she jerked a little because of that and turned to face me.

"A-ah hey my Wolf.." She kissed my lips with a moan. And God her kiss is so damn hot just like Kend- ok I have to stop to thinking about that guy.

"What Wolf?" I chuckled, a smile on my face for her and she giggled.

"Yes you're my Wolf," She kissed me again.

I kissed her back and squeezed her ass as I smirked.

"Last night was Amazing and I think we must do it again." I said and she gave me a big smile.

I let go of her ass, "Hey what are you doing here anyway?" I questioned.

Her face changed, going pale and her eyes went downcast to the ground.

_Fuck_! _Wrong question._

"Hey babe forget about that and take a shower with me." I led her to the bathroom.

I hated make her upset or sad because I loved her so much and I won't let her go just like what I did to him. I loved him too but it was just so wrong and now I just realised that I hate him. Aarrgghhtt.. _But why I can't get him out of my mind? _

* * *

**Ttaaddaa..**

**Oh have you guys watched Big Time Cartoon anyway? OMG this ep was so epic hahahah and I love Song For U' Music Video on it. **

******Too short? Lol yeah I know I just thought that I had to stop here but still hope that you guys will love it. **PlEase RnR :) 


	6. Just Getting Started

******Neeww Chapp! WooHoo! Ok I'm not going to babble here so, **

******22randomninja22 : Ah totally agree with you, Logan's a jerk but don't you worry because it's not over yet.. *oh how evil I am* **

******Doomedphsyx2030 : Ahh heheh you've found it and I can not believe that you were reviewing almost all of the Chapter TYSM and LYSSM! **

******Chey21 : Ah thank you so much for your reviews it means a lot to me hope you'll love this one :). **

******Disclaimer : I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine.**

* * *

**Kendall' POV**

**Chapter 6 : Just Getting Started **

"GET UP!" That voice appeared on my thought slowly but makes sure that it woke me up from my dreamland.

"I SAID GET UP SLUT!" this time I jerked a little because something had just hit my chest and it made me hissed in low volume.

Slowly I opened my eyes to see what had happened and what was that. I was surprising it was Camille whom standing in front of me with anger was crossing in her face.

I coughed and inhaled because I felt my chest was stertorous.

"Get. Up. Right. Now. And don't be SILLY!" she kicked me again right on my chest and I was about to scream in the pain but Camille grabbed the collar of my shirt then forced me to stood by my feet to drag me out of the room.

She opened the door and pushed me hard to the ground and says, "Don't even you show your fucking face to me again!" followed with a loud sound of the door closed.

I could feel that my head fills with a stars that flying around my head. I shocked a little, closed my eyes tightly for awhile then opened it slowly. I tried to pull my body on my feet and made sure that I wouldn't collapse.

I walked to downstairs and saw Carlos, James, Katie and My Mom on the Kitchen.

I gave them a small smile, _well fake smile,_ then took a sit beside James.

They gave me back a smile after that.

"Hey sweetheart," my mom kissed on my top head then hugged me like the usual but I can see her face changed about to worry.

"Are you ok? You look so tired a-and.."

"I'm fine mom," I cut it then sighed as I filled my plate with some foods.

I'm so hungry so I just want to eat and If I can be honest I hated for this. I look like weird and I was going crazy about foods but I can't help it. I just always get hungry all the time. Yeah it's because of this baby on my belly that needs food too and I can't blame her or him. I can't help it but I rolled my eyes because of that thoughts. Yeah that's one of my habits, rolling my eyes.

But then I caught James looked at my belly in cold stare and it was uncomfortable for me. **Really I hated when people looking at my belly right now. **Ok, stupid hormones.

I let out of sigh for the last time then I slammed my fork at the plate.

"WHAT!?" I screamed at James who made everyone in the kitchen jerked and shocked at my reaction.

"W-What about what?" James questioned with confused face.

"Just get off of me!" I yelled at him by accidently not too much of thinking, _God what the hell happened to me? _

James stared at me with a blank expression then raised his eyebrow about few seconds James walked away and left.

_Ok it was bad. Stupid mood swings._

I let out of sigh.

Carlos, Katie and my mom kept silence while took their eyes on me.

"S-sweetheart are you sure you're ok? What happened?" Mama Knight took closer over me and grabbed my hand. I was just still on my position, upsetting, sitting in silence as I looked at the table. Nothing much that had caught my attention.

"I-I just need to be alone mom, can I?" Without facing her or even looking at her eyes I know that she said yes because after I said so everybody just left me alone, not exception for her.

After I feel that everybody left I bowed my head as I placed my hands on my face because it was even more clear that It was getting worse. I'm so dumb, there's nothing left. No one even Logan, even maybe my baby, she or he will hate me because I couldn't give what she or he should have, **a father**. I'm useless.

I hated this situation. What should I do?

* * *

"James wait!" I ran towards James carefully because I don't want to hurt the baby.

"James I'm so sorry about this morning," I stopped for awhile to get some air for my lungs.

This was stupid I never felt this way before I just ran a little bit and I got so tired. It was ridiculous. Being pregnant is not good sometimes. Trust me_ isn't fun._

"Kendall did you already tell about the baby to Logan?" James asked with a flat faced not even bothered about my apologize.

I nodded and I was about to say something before James led me to sit and actually I was grateful with that.

I'm so tired. Damn it.

"Thanks," I said to James but he didn't even pay any attention to me...again.

"When will you tell to everyone about this? You can't keep it like forever, right?" Still, there was no emotions at James's face that I can read.

"Soon James,"

"Soon and soon but when Kendall!? Your belly will show up and everyone will notice it oh or you will let them to notice it by themselves, do you?"

"And oh do you just let Logan goes off from you easier with Camille? Logan deserves to know Kendall! This is his baby too,"

"I know James I know it. I'll tell him but I-I just can't do it now." I drooped my head on the ground. I don't really know what did I do.

"But why?"

"I-I don't want to make him upset or about worrying me and this baby,"

"Oh and don't you thing that you don't deserve to own him and deserve to get the better life? Or do you just let Camille takes your place? How about the baby, Kendall? Don't you think about him or her!?" James being so mean to me and it made my heart crack and hurt even more. I know that he didn't really being rude but still this "mood swings" are driving me crazy.

I sobbed in my palms, I couldn't hold it out from my eyes at that time I was just knowing that James rubbed my shoulder softly. I'm so ashamed.

"Kendall I'm so sorry I didn't mean to being so rude or jerk for you I jus-"

"Yeah James it's ok it wasn't your fault. You're right I have to tell it to everyone especially Logan." with that James hugged me and rubbed my back and thanked it was making me little bit calm and comfort.

"Kendall remember don't stress yourself out. And if you aren't ready to so it's ok and don't bothering yourself by me for being so stupid with that words. I'm a bad friend I must support you but look what I've done?"

Nothing words that came out from my mouth. I was just giving my weight on James's shoulder then curling my arms against James's chest and let my sobbing out little loud and it just felt better.

* * *

**CAMILLE' POV**

_I smirked at myself from my hiding place. I've heard every words what were they saying. But everything that I had heard was making me confused. So, Kendall is pregnant? How could he? Oh I swear to God that he's Freak but it doesn't matter now because one think that I know Logan is the father. It was a bad news but good news either. The bad news was Kendall had baby of Logan on his body right now and if Logan knew about it maybe he would leave me and back to Kendall and oh I'm Camille and I will never let it happen and ever. _

_I wanted to kill him or his baby but no of course I can't do it at least now because I can feel that Logan still has feel on Kendall and it could be bad choice. So I'm not going to take any risks to do it so._

_But deep inside of me I wanted to kick him so hard or strangle him until out of his last breath. Oh well, I'm too smart for it. _

_Just let's see the good news. I'm a nice person Kendall and I'm not gonna miss it. I'm so grateful knowing about your secret actually, your the biggest secret, your damn pregnancy. Wow Kendall you're so weakness, fragile or even reckless. I've got this and I'm gonna help you to solve this out even with the easier ways and don't worry Kendall I'm gonna give you a gifts for it. See I am not a bad person but I am a nice girl in the whole world, the nicer friend that you met, even if you can say it. You have thank to me because of that. _

**_Just in time... _**

* * *

**Dreng dreng dreng... **

**Who's excited about the next chapter? Well maybe it's me, myself Lol. I just love with Camille' character. Yeah she's being so rude of course Logan too. I wanna make Logan being so cruel...at first or all of the time? **

**Just take a look heheheh.. **

**So guys what did you think? ****Your reviews so means for me so p**lease RnR because I love you guys so much! 


	7. Next Step

**I'm backkk! **

**********Doomedphsyx2030 : Wow again thank you so much and yeah I've tried it so hope it will be better and you will like this one :) **

**********xScreamingFromBehindTheVeilx : Hemm yes you can kill her but not yet just...wait :) **

**********Ignacia Kitty Dolohov-Potter : Oh dude did you just kill her? **

**********Omg I love how people thought about how bad Camille was, so hope this Chap will make you guys more and more hating on her.. *Ok Am I evil?* **

**********Oh and if you have any ideas or any suggestions about how will this go on then feel free to put it on Review or PM. And about the Italic words it means for Character's thought so hope you won't get confuse heheheh.. **

**********Oh and please forgive me if there are typos or bad grammar just bear with me :) **

******************Disclaimer : I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine. **

* * *

**Chapter 7 : Next Step **

**Logan's POV **

_I've been thinking about this a fews days ago and I couldn't help it I just feel uncomfortable, Did I just do something wrong or even dumb to him? James and I had a huge fight, of course we all have fight a lot each other since we were young till now but this was different and I've been trying to be nice to him but I'm nor sure that he would think smart. I just don't know why James being so jerk to me and since when, hah, I've been questioning it too, well, after he yelled at me, I thought that It was just a ridiculous disagreement between us, but he did really mean it. Not help at all but Carlos also changes a little bit, hey I mean I don't know what was wrong with me? Again did I do something wrong to them both or else? If it's all about I was taking Camille here then don't they just think that we love each other and if they were in my position right now then I assume that they will do the same think just like I did. __In the other hand, I don't want to lose this friendships. We were building this long time ago with our hearts, so I decide to cheer them up with a dinner. Well, maybe we just need to spend some time together. _

___And speaking up about friendship, I'm not sure about this guy. I don't even know what I have to do with him, because he already changed. _

_It's Kendall, well, it was the different case. First time we met, truly I love him deep inside of my heart even we were still a kids but I could feel it, he was just feel right to me. Every time I was near him it was just good. His smile, his laugh, his giggle, his stare even his touch I adored it. Until one day, when we were about 18-19 year old, I took a next step with him. I told him about what I feel about him, I told him that I adore him long time ago even I told him that I love him. About that day finally I and he had the best day of our life especially for me because he told me that he love me too. However, my love for him it was just _**_the past_**_ and it's over, because first I thought that he's different from the other but I was wrong. He was hiding on something on me it could be that he was cheating on me and that means he has lied to me, and I hated when someone that I truly love with all my heart has lied to me, even now he being so jerk to me and he isn't much different from a slut._ **_I Hated Him. _**

**__****_Why is everyone being so silly to me? _**

_The only one who's being nice to me is Camille and that's why I loved her so much and I never let her go, **ever**. _

* * *

**CAMILLE'S POV **

"So I and Camille will celebrate for our relationships with bring you guys to dinner. And we've already found the greatest place that we should go to and I think that you guys will love it. So how is that?"

Carlos, James and Kendall shared their eyes to each other as read their faces to find the answer of Logan's question.

"Well, I-I don't know if it's even necessary or no," James explained it not sure.

_Nah, James got the point._

"Oh come on James don't you happy for us? It's been about two and half of months for our relationships." I said following with kissed Logan's lips then gave my biggest smile to them.

_You got it Kendall. _

I looked at Kendall for awhile still with my smile crossing on my face.

"Yeah come on guys be happy with us. We haven't been doing this for a long time and we missed it." Logan said as wrapped my waist with his right hand, kissing my top. He gave his hope faced to James and Carlos but pretty sure that he didn't even take a look at Kendall, I'm pretty sure about that.

"Y-yeah, James maybe they're right. I missed Logan it's been a long time we didn't even hang out together. Isn't bad idea anyway," Carlos shrugged his shoulders while waved his hand on the air.

Logan smiled and nodded it sigh that he agreed with Carlos.

"How do you think Kendall?" I asked Kendall with a mocky voice but I was pretending that it was the sweetest notes ever that I had as I smiled at him.

I can see Kendall became so quite and his stare was nowhere he was just stood still like a statue but I don't really care or I don't even want to care at all.

"Hey buddy.." James whispered while shaking Kendall's body gently.

It was like Kendall's soul was back to his body and turned his face at James.

James sighed, "I think it's em little you know ba-"

"It's a good idea." Kendall said colder not even turn his face from the ground or bothering him to take a look at their friends.

James turned his face quickly at Kendall and little shocked with what just did Kendall say.

"Ken-" James said hesitantly.

Kendall slowly turned his face to meet James' hazel eyes then smiled at James and everyone softly.

"I'd love to but I can't join with you guys. I'm so sorry I just I think I'm not really feeling well so I'm gonna take a bed earlier tonight." Kendall said.

"I can't go," James said to Logan and Camille.

"Why?" Carlos asked sadly and that time Kendall' eyes widened at James.

"I don't really on my mood for foods beside I can stay at home with Kendall,"

"James don't I'm fine. You must go with them. Have a good time with them I haven't seen you relax on yourself for a long time." Kendall faced James as gave him a soft stare. He knew that James was lying.

"But-"

"No buts James just come with us and leav-give him space." Logan said with a cold stare and forced James to join the dinner tonight.

I just kept smiling and hugged Logan tightly.

James didn't say anything but just thinking.

He looked at Kendall with a worry faced.

"James It's ok you can go.." Kendall said softly to James.

Not sure just hesitantly finally he nodded slowly.

"Good I love you guys so much and Kendall I hope you will get better soon.." I said to Kendall.

_You made this so easier Bitch. _

_It's gonna be an Epic night Kendall and you will get the best gift that you ever had from me and sure you will get better,,, _

I smiled at myself as staring at Kendall.

* * *

**Friday Night **

**7:10 PM at House **

**Author's POV **

"Everyone is ready?" Logan said as walking towards the living room followed by Camille.

"I'm here!" Carlos running from upstairs followed by James who looked not really paying attention or even not on his spirit at all.

"So are you guys ready?"

James and Carlos nodded.

"Ok let's go then," Camille grabbed Logan' hand then followed them all to get out of the house.

Before Camille close the door she smiled once again at herself and whispers, "Have a nice night, Kendall" she closed the door then went to the park with Logan, Carlos and James in the car.

* * *

**KENDALL' POV **

Everybody left and Kendall was alone. Mrs, Knight went to hipermarket to get some food and Katie went to her friend' house was doing her homework along with her friends.

It was nice and made him more relax a little after a days ago that he stuck with this stupid situations who didn't even help him at all.

Kendall let out of sigh as he felt sleepy and it didn't even bother Kendall because it had happened all the time during his pregnancy.

He yawned about to close his eyes but something woke him up.

He heard some 'Crack' sound at out there and he didn't think that it was the guys because they just left for a minutes ago. Neither with mom and Katie but who knows maybe it was Katie that went home early. He clamped out off of the bed while protecting his baby with placing his hand in his belly even yeah it isn't showing yet but still the he walked slowly get closer with the door. Before he reach the knob of the door he stopped because there was a noises at downstairs, he frowned.

But it wouldn't made him stop. He grabbed the knob of the door and opened it then walked out of the room.

It was so quite and silence here. He didn't see anyone here and there. He was wondering where did that sound come from.

He could feel that his stomach start to nausea, he rubbed his belly to make the baby calm even comfort.

He walked downstairs slowly while he was scanning at all the corner of his house. He was pretty sure that it was quite and nothing had to be worry about.

There's nothing. He was relieved by it but he didn't want to go back in his room because he was getting bored because he's at home alone and he just realised it didn't feel good.

He sighed then decided to watch tv.

"Thanks" he said to himself.

He grabbed the remote then turned on the TV, he was about to sit at the couch when he felt a hands touched his shoulders. That hands was cold like an ice. He jerked a little because of it then turned his body around.

He shocked, jumped step back on his feet while slowly took step back while his hands touched the couch.

"W-what are you doing here?"

That person took closer to Kendall with his smirk who crossed his face.

"Ah, I'm looking for Camille. Is she here?" As asked he trying to touch Kendall but sooner he slapped the guy's hand on the air.

"S-she isn't here..don't touch me." Kendall kept his brave voice to make sure that that guy won't notice that he is terrified.

"Oh yeah I forgot she's just went to dinner with Logan, Carlos and James, am I right?"

Kendall' heart was racing faster than a speeding bullet.

_How did he know ? _

"Oh Kendoll please don't be terrified I'm not gonna bite you, oh well but surely I'd love to." he gave me a big smile who it was creeping me out, before I could even say something he interrupted me.

"Ah, it's ok then, she isn't here so I'll go," he left me, walked towards the door but before he reach knob of the door he turned his face to me.

_Have a good night, Kendoll. _

* * *

**Aagghh I was bad at the ending. I just got confused where I had to stop and how was it going. So sorry about the ending hope you guys still like it. **

**And oh the next Chapter is gonna be important one, though. Because it begins. And is anyone just wondering who's that guy? Just like I said before you have to take a look at the next Chapter to find the answer and Imma give it a little surprise on there so. **

**Well, with more angst of Kendall heheheh... **

**Soooo how did you think guys? Please give your reviews and once again if you have any, any suggestions or ideas about this FanFic so feel free to share it with me by reviewing or PMing me :) **

**Hope you guys enjoyed it and Love You Guys So Much... **


	8. Paralyzed

**Minne, Ignacia Kitty Dolohov-Potter and BTRLover thank you so much for took your time for reviewing this heheheh it means a lot to me and Love you! **

**Oh and don't forget to say thank to BigTimeHiddlestoner who helped me with this Chap, I blocked but so grateful she helped me out so... **

**Hope this Chap will be the good one because I'm little bit afraid if disappointed you guys but wish that I was wrong so hope you guys will love and enjoy this Chap as before and please don't forget to review aahh I'm so sorry but couldn't help it x_x.**

**And I've tried harder with this Chap because I thought this Chap is the important ones, with this the Life begins.**

**And thank you so much for Hayley again you're my truly sister even we've never met before.. I. Love. You.**

**So here we go...**

**Disclaimer : Like before, I do not own Big Time Rush but I wish someday they'll be mine :D Amin.**

* * *

**Author's POV**

**Chapter 8 : Paralyzed **

**IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER… **

**"Ah, it's ok then, she isn't here so I'll go," he left and walked towards the door, but before he reach knob of the door, he turned to face Kendall. **

**_Have a good night, Kendoll._**

* * *

He reached the knob of the door, twisting it slowly, but stopping before it opened. Dak smirked, and then left the knob as he ran his hand over the keyhole. He grabbed the key and unlocked the door, making sure that he didn't catch Kendall's attention, at least, for now.

He was giggling to himself, feeling more spirited as the time passed. Dak bowed his head as he giggled or smirked. "Kendall, you know what?" he asked, with his head still bowed. He smirked, unable to take it any longer. He could tell that Kendall was trying to stay silent, but he could hear Kendall's heavy, rapid breaths. As soon as Dak had the chance, he took the key from its place. "Hemm, I was just thinking…" He turned his body around and hid the key in his pocket, and then met Kendall's stare.

Dak smiled at Kendall, taking slow steps over to him. He could see that Kendall was trembling and taking steps back, but they both locked stares. "Dak, w-what are you doing?" Kendall asked, trembling. He urged his bad thoughts away, trying to calm down, but it was hard to do, especially since Dak was smirking at him while pulling his jacket off. Dak threw the jacket down on the ground.

"It's getting hotter in here. Don't you feel it? Hah…" Dak said in a playful voice, while pretending to look confused. He fanned himself with his hands, staring only at Kendall.

Kendall stood still, not even bothering to open his mouth. His mind is completely blank. Dak turned to stare at Kendall, and then raised his eyebrows at him. "Is it just you and meh here?" Dak was still using an innocent tone as he got closer to Kendall.

"D-Dak, p-please g-go." Dak was still walking over to Kendall slowly, but it was clearly close enough.

Kendall took a step back, trembling, feeling as if his feet are caught in gel. He wasn't sure of what to do. He could run away, or have gotten further away from Dak, or he could have called someone. All of the thoughts ran through his head, but he couldn't decide what to do. All he could think about was the tears falling from his eyes.

Kendall jerked back, but rushed to grab the top of the couch to prevent himself from falling. Dak expected it, and took him by the waist, placing his other hand behind Kendall's head. Dak held Kendall close enough to him so that Kendall could smell his strong perfume. It bothered Kendall a lot.

Kendall fought the urge to vomit and tried really hard to escape from Dak's grip. With a huge struggle, Kendall managed to escape from Dak's grip, although it hurt him. Dak gave him a big smirk and raised his hands in surrender.

"Oh Kendall, you have to be more careful!" Dak really made Kendall uncomfortable. "Oh, come on! Don't be afraid, Kendall. I won't bite you. Well, at least not for now. Not yet." He tried to grab Kendall's hand, but Kendall kicked him away.

"What do you want? Camille isn't here. I told you that before. Can you maybe go home now, please?" Kendall walked backwards and didn't realize that he was pushing up against a vase of flowers until they fell off of the table, causing the vase to shatter into several pieces.

Kendall was shocked and his body jerked, bringing his gaze down to look at the shards of the shattered vase. Kendall returned his gaze to Dak, having felt him getting closer to him. Dak grabbed him. "Dak, please step back!" Kendall spontaneously screamed.

"Kendall, I just want to help."

"I'm fine! Nothing has happened, so please, just leave now!" Kendall couldn't stop his voice from rising in pitch. Dak stared into his eyes and stood rigidly, staring at Kendall intently.

"You know, Kendall, from the start, I already knew that Camille is gone for the evening, and that you're the only one left at home. Well, I was waiting for this moment. Don't make this difficult, Kendall. You know that I am going to make this the night that you will never forget."

With alacrity, Dak grabbed Kendall at his waist, and this time, Kendall couldn't escape. Kendall cried and tried to push Dak away, but Dak's grip was too tight. Dak squeezed around Kendall's stomach, making it cramp. "Dak, let go of me!" Kendall groaned in pain, struggling in Dak's arms.

"Never will, Kendoll." He launched his mouth towards Kendall's neck, and Kendall could feel the heat of Dak's breath. "Ahh.. Hemmm," Dak groaned, biting Kendall's neck passionately. "Kendoll, just give me what I want, and I won't hurt you or the baby growing inside you." Dak closed his eyes as he continued licking the inside of Kendall's neck. Kendall's eyes widened and he stayed glued to his spot, in silence, frozen for the first time. "Hahaha, please, Kendall, don't be so surprised! I know everything. I know that it's Logan's, but unfortunately, he doesn't know, and he will probably never care. That is, if you're even going to tell him. Well, after this, I doubt that he'll believe you." With that, he began planting myriad of kisses down Kendall's neck once again, laying a line of kisses down to Kendall's chest. Kendall tried to force him away by pushing on his chest.

"Dak, get off of me!" Unexpectedly, Dak slapped Kendall's face, making him stop.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, KENDALL! YOU'RE JUST A SLUT WHO CAN SLEEP WITH ANYONE, SO LET ME JUST FUCK YOU THIS ONE TIME!" Dak stopped yelling and sucked air back into his lungs. "If you continue to rebel against me, then I will make sure that you lose the little shit that you call your unborn baby! Do you want that, BITCH?!" Kendall's body was trembling so hard that he could feel Dak's grip loosening, but he is too afraid to move, even to just open his mouth.

"…"

"Good! I think you've got it!" He reached around Kendall's waist and pulled Kendall close so that he could kiss him. Dak kissed Kendall on the mouth, the kiss hard and deep. His tongue swept through Kendall's mouth, forcing Kendall's tongue to play with his own. Kendall could feel his silent tears falling, not daring to make a sound, no matter how quiet it would be.

Dak started pushing Kendall back, forcing Kendall's body to slam against the wall. Kendall groaned in pain, feeling it course through his entire body, but he knew that he couldn't protest too much. Not when it threatened to hurt his baby….and **Logan's**.

* * *

**Lol so sorry had to stop here, I know I've already told you that in this Chap will be the important one but so sorry I couldn't make it, I had a block :( which means I didn't know how to solve this Chap and I'm so sorry for that but I promise I'm gonna try as best as I can in the next Chap and do more better than this. I hope you will cheer me up with your reviews so It'll push me to write this more better :) ..**

**So, review ?**

**And I love you guys :) **


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